Some of My Hangups....

I feel sometimes that my thoughts may be too heavy for others that is why I start to write them here.  I need to get them out as it is a part of my cleansing.  For many years I held things in and if you keep doing that it will boil over.  When I was younger I was a cutter, it just gave me a sense of lightness as it felt like I had held my breath for years and could exhale.  After each time I felt cleansed.  I don’t know what I was cleaning though.  I know some of the reason is because my parents left me behind and I wondered often if they didn’t want the child with the broken eye.


They had their own things going so I felt left out.  My granny’s birthday was the day before yesterday.  She is still jovial as usual.  She asked me to go to church with her Sunday for a convention.  I had to decline, but she understood, not really but she will, one day.